L’infidélité affective

Vous avez déjà vécu une infidélité affective, forcément. Un jour, vous avez observé votre conjoint se rapprocher dangereusement d’une autre personne, que ce soit au boulot, dans son club de sport, dans son cercle d’amis ou ailleurs.
Et vous avez ressenti une forme de trahison.

Vous avez déjà vécu une infidélité affective, forcément. Un jour, vous avez observé votre conjoint se rapprocher dangereusement d’une autre personne, que ce soit au boulot, dans son club de sport, dans son cercle d’amis ou ailleurs.

Et vous avez ressenti une forme de trahison.

Tromperie, dis-moi ton nom

À la différence de la tromperie physique, l’infidèle affectif ne franchit pas (jusqu’à quand ?) les limites du corps de l’autre. Cependant, la déflagration n’en est pas moins tonitruante et dangereuse au sein du couple. Celui ou celle qui en sera victime éprouvera un sentiment de trahison semblable à la tromperie sexuelle.

Il n’a pas couché avec cette femme. Je le sais, mais même s’il ne portait jamais sur lui l’odeur, le parfum de cette nana que je ne connaissais pas, mais dont il me parlait sans cesse parce qu’il travaillait quotidiennement à ses côtés, j’avais l’impression qu’elle occupait un espace invisible dans notre appartement, comme un chien qui viendrait se coucher entre nous deux, dans le lit. J’en suis venu à la détester, vraiment. À chaque fois qu’il me parlait d’elle, je piquais une crise. Elle me volait mon mari, en esprit.

Témoignage de S.

L’infidélité émotionnelle singe la proximité de deux amants, à ceci près qu’ils ne franchissent pas la ligne interdite. Bien qu’éprouvant une attraction sexuelle et/ou romantique, les deux gardent le cap, mais pour combien de temps.

Souvent, les amants platoniques ne s’avoueront même pas l’amour ou le désir qu’ils portent en eux, mais leur rapprochement en dévoilera assez pour comprendre qu’ils sont devenus indispensables l’un envers l’autre. Ils se confieront sur tout et tous les jours. À coups d’aveux et de révélations, ils n’auront plus aucun secret car tout y passera : leur problème de couple, leur vie sexuelle, leur désir, leurs freins, les failles et le dégoût du conjoint.

C’est vrai que je lui parlais de tout. Je n’avais aucune limite avec elle. Elle faisait pareil. Souvent, lorsque j’étais chez moi, je n’avais même plus envie de parler à ma femme. J’avais le besoin de la contacter, elle. Dans l’obscurité de ma piaule, alors que ma épouse dormait, on s’envoyait des messages anodins ou plus sérieux. Je me moquais de celle qui ronflait à mes côtés, du désir que je n’avais plus. Ce n’était pas bien, mais je ne pouvais m’en empêcher. Est-ce que je l’aimais ? Je crois que oui. Cependant, on n’a jamais couché ensemble, c’est la vérité, mais nous nous endormions à la même heure, en nous soufflant un “bonne nuit” aussi romantique que si nous avions fait l’amour, avant.

Témoignage de D.

À fleur de peau

Tous les jours, l’homme et la femme se croisent, parlent ensemble, se regardent, s’envient, se désirent sans en témoigner en public. Dans la réalité, leur corps ne s’enchevêtrent pas, mais en imagination, c’est véridique. Il suffirait pourtant d’un pas pour que cette infidélité prenne corps, prenne possession de leur vie.

Ça crépite entre eux et c’est peut-être ça qui les retient dans cette relation théorique. Ils soupçonnent peut-être qu’une fois qu’ils auront baisé, cette entente disparaîtra, alors ils prolongent ce désir inassouvi, irrassasié.

On savait tous les deux que si on couchait ensemble, ce ne serait plus comme avant. En fait, ça m’excitait cette forme d’interdit avec elle. J’avais l’impression de vivre des premiers rendez-vous incessants, mais sans la toucher, sans même l’embrasser. Vous comprenez ? J’étais à la recherche de cette chose qui disparaît dès qu’on couche avec une femme. Dès qu’on terrasse le corps d’une nana, on a gagné et il n’y a plus rien après.

Témoignage de D.

On rencontre ainsi beaucoup de cas semblables d’hommes et de femmes qui, ne se séparant pas, entretiennent parallèlement une relation qui frôle l’interdit. Parce qu’ils (ou elles) se sentent malheureux-ses ou négligé(e)s dans leur relation, parce que ces personnes considèrent surtout (à tort ou à raison) que cette infidélité émotionnelle reste inoffensive, elles ne se remettent que rarement en question, arguant qu’il n’y a pas eu de concrétisation sexuelle.

Si vous êtes victime d’une infidélité affective, il faut impérativement et rapidement, mettre les points sur les i avant que la situation ne s’aggrave. Discuter avec votre partenaire est la voie à prioriser pour comprendre les tenants et aboutissants, la source du problème, la racine du secret.

Si vous êtes l’auteur d’une infidélité de ce genre, si vous aimez encore votre partenaire, réfléchissez aux conséquences et aux effets dévastateurs pour votre conjoint (perte de confiance pouvant déboucher sur une rupture), mais surtout, replacez-le (ou la) au centre de vos priorités et de vos pensées.

Si, au contraire, vous n’aimez plus votre partenaire, soyez courageux(se) et rompez votre relation.

https://youtu.be/OOeO2w6cI4M

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